Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Alien Child

My first clue that Jackson was abducted by aliens should have come when he slept until the unheard of hour of 7am, but at that point we really didn't suspect much. For those of you that are keeping score, I won't be changing my ticker of "Days Since I Slept Past 7am" because Matt and I were both awake trying to decide whether or not he was dead. I started to suspect that aliens had replaced my child when he made it through his entire picture schedule without crying or fussing once. Further evidence arose when we entered IHOP (one of the few restaurants where we dare to bring him) and our normally very shy toddler waved at the hostess and announced, "Hi! I eat pancakes!" Then he politely said, "Thank you!" to the waiter each time he came within 10 feet of our table and then happily ate his pancakes and eggs. Not a single piece of food ended up in the hair of another diner. At this point, Matt and I tried to decide whether we would mind raising this alien child, even if it meant that, perhaps, he might try to eat us someday. The final piece of evidence came about an hour later at Target, when Jackson spontaneously asked to use the bathroom and then did it. When I let him flush the toilet he said, "Thank you Mommy flush toilet!" like I just gave him a new toy or something.

For those of you that would be bored to tears reading a blog about this perfect child, don't worry; I'm certain the aliens will be wanting to give him back soon.

*cute cartoon courtesy of

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