Saturday, August 2, 2008

Why I'm Going Prematurely Gray

Ok, I'll admit it, I was going gray long before I had Jackson, but I'd still like to blame it on him. Here is a transcript of an actual conversation we had two nights ago:

SCENE: Jackson is sitting at the table eating angel food cake and strawberries while I clean up, and Matt is on an important work call. In the interest of full disclosure, this is probably the third time I've had to clean up since we've been married...Jackson and I are the mess-makers, and Matt is the cleaner-uper (and no, you can't have him). I walk over to check on Jackson and realize that the floor around his chair is covered in cake crumbs - way more then could be explained by messy eating*.

Me: Jackson, who put all this cake on the ground?

Jackson (feigning lack of comprehension): Who?

Me: You heard me. WHO put all this cake on the ground?

Jackson: Who?

Me: Jackson, YOU put that cake on the ground! Why did you do it? Why did you put the cake on the ground?

Jackson (I'll admit that WHY probably blew his little circuits): Why?

Me: Jackson, we don't put cake on the ground. It makes a big mess. Yuck!

Jackson (gleefully): Yuck! Yuck!

In the midst of shouting Yuck! he bounces around until the chair moves slightly and makes a terrible squeaking sound

Jackson (even more gleefully): Mommy! I did it! I make dat sound!

Me: (silence while I go to get the Dustbuster and clean up)

I return to cleaning the kitchen. Two minutes later:

Me: Jackson! There is more cake on the floor!

Jackson (very serious): Who? Who did dat?

Me: (speechless will individual hairs on my head spontaneously pop out in gray)

*Another street cred disclaimer: I promise that I don't normally discipline by having inane conversations with my child. For meals, I usually put the offending utensil or food item in "time out" on the counter for a minute or so. It's a lot less work then putting Jackson in time out, and works great for minor infractions. But in this case, I wasn't 100% SURE that he had dropped a bazillion little crumbs on the floor on PURPOSE...

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